One of the Grammar Points I'm More Worried About

Has anyone else noticed how rarely superlatives are used in written English these days?

Maybe I'm old, but I remember a time when writers weren't afraid to use phrases like "one of the most well-known," "one of the best," "some of the most respected," and so on.

Now in many articles and posts that I read online, I see a shrinking away from the superlative in favor of the comparative, even when it doesn't make much sense. I see sentences that start, "One of the more well-respected companies in the industry, ProductCorp earned acclaim for..." Or "Some of the better albums released this year..." Aren't the phrases "one of" and "some of" already enough of a hedge against making an overreaching absolute statement?

If I call "Third" by Portishead one of the better albums released in 2008, unless I have in mind a separate list of "best albums of 2008" apart from my list of "better albums," what am I really saying? Maybe I'm just trying to avoid criticism by making (what appears to be) a weaker statement.

It's a kind of knee-jerk, slightly nonsensical aversion to making solid statements. It's one of the more annoying aspects of reading online.

Tic

For everyone asking about the projects we're doing at CDIA, here's a video I wrote, directed, and edited.

Color correction and sound are still a little bit dodgy here and there, but otherwise it's as done as it can be.

Where You Read a Blog Post

I was riding the commuter rail tonight when I saw an ad for the Massachusetts School of Law. Their slogan?

Where You Learn to Become a Lawyer

Isn't that, uh, fairly well understood? Anyone even remotely considering becoming a lawyer would, you'd think, already be aware of the fact that a law school is where one would naturally go.

Of course, I don't want to be too snarky; that sort of unhyped honesty is refreshing. I've never seen an ad like "New England School of Dentistry: Where You Learn to Fix Teeth," but that might be more pleasant to read on the train than the typical obnoxiously overeager ad copy.

Maybe this advertising concept could spread to job listings: "Join BigCorp: Where Your Soul Slowly Slips Away." Or "Hedge Funds 'R' Us: Where You Make Tons of Cash When You're Not Trying to Explain to Your Family that You Didn't Personally Cause the Global Economic Meltdown."

Back to academia: I double-majored in comparative literature and philosophy in college. What would  the departmental slogans be? "Comparative Literature: Where You Learn to Compare Literature." Hmmm. What DID I do in the comp lit department? Hard to say.  "Philosophy: Where You..." I won't even finish that one--it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

The slogan for the whole university is "In Deo Speramus," or, "In God We Hope." Quite vague. Hard to find a focus or mission in a broad statement like that. In contrast, "Where You Learn to Become a Lawyer" has a nice ring to it. A pleasing, simple certainty.

Introducing Mister Sexyhearts

[A note from Ben: I have several friends who will be guest posting from time to time. Here's a post from the fabulous Mister Sexyhearts, advice columnist. We're honored to have him here!]

Dear Mister Sexyhearts,
I have an amazing girlfriend. She's beautiful, funny, smart, and we "click" like you wouldn't believe. I know I want to marry her some day. So what's the problem? I hate to admit it, but things are getting a little dull in the bedroom. What can I do to liven things up?

Bored in the Bedroom

Dear Bored,
Never fear! If you're bored in the bedroom, there are many things you can do. Consider new window treatments or a fresh coat of paint. Sometimes the smallest change can make all the difference! Brighter colors add life to a room, while darker colors give the space a rich, mysterious air. You might also want to hang a new piece of art, whether it's a soothing landscape or a vibrant abstract work. Can't afford to spend any money right now? No sweat: simply rearrange the furniture. You can do wonders without spending a dime. Good luck in your home improvement quest! Oh, and hang on to that girlfriend: it sounds like you two have an utterly perfect relationship.

Readers: please keep the questions coming! Mister Sexyhearts is perceptive and savvy in the ways of life and love, and he wants to help you. Yes, you! Write to him now. Don't live a sad and problem-filled life tangy with the aftertaste of missed opportunities and ruined love. Ask a wise soul for help, and help you shall have.

Learning to Say "No" to Your Creative Self

We admire and honor creativity. We tell our children to be imaginative, inventive, expressive. To add a little something unique and special to the everyday. To look at the world sideways sometimes. To march to the beat of a different...

But it's all stuff and nonsense and we know it.

Take the World Wide Web. We all know the web is preposterously vast, and not just because it's 85% porn, kitten photos, and unneeded product reviews ("I give these plastic forks 2 out of 5 stars because some of them have rough plastic burrs on the handle and rather weak tines." --DisposableFlatWareDude87, Top 500 Amazon reviewer).

The web is also the largest "market of ideas," the largest photo gallery, the largest movie theater, the largest bookshop, the largest reference guide, ever created.

We know that virtually every opinion a person could have on any topic is being had at this very moment, and that all the counter-arguments and counter-counter-arguments and counter-counter-counter-arguments about that opinion are also being had.

We know that any time we pick up a camera, wherever we are in the world, we are probably shooting something similar to many other photos or videos that other people, with greater skill, have already put online. The same is true if we write a song, create an animation, write a piece of fiction.

Any kitsch we would like to demonstrate an ironic enjoyment of to enhance our coolness factor has already been thoroughly ironically enjoyed by someone else with an even higher coolness factor.

Face it. Not only is there nothing new under the sun, there is so much under the sun already that we can barely feel the few rays of sunlight that filter through the enormous jumbled heap of our endless creative activity.

The obvious conclusion: ask yourself if you are a genius. If so, plow on, for you might do the world some good. If not, just stop creating. Cold turkey. The next time you feel a creative impulse coming on, stifle it. Just say no.

As for me? What a hypocrite, you must be thinking. Why would he start a blog? I assure you, I'm only blogging for the money, and I promise to be as uncreative as possible in every post. You have my word. 

(And if you think this post is creative, just imagine what Oscar Wilde or even Dave Barry could have done--probably already did--with this topic.)